I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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