i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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