We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Quick, to the slutcave!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize