Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
