I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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