Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
this just has baby written all over it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
