You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
