addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I party with great urgency now.
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