Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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