Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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