sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
