Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
