When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
