if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
