i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
