halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
