508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
