The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
