you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
