wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
