Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
