Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
