yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
