My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
