so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
