I forgot how hot balto sounded
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
