508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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