Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
