@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
