Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize