I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize