Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
