Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
