Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
