so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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