Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize