guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize