I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
