yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
