i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
