Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
