My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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