you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
