yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I donโt know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize