don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
