Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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