my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize