I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
