It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
