...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
