I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
