All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
