In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
