Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
