I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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