would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
