UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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