We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My pussy is not your playground.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
