haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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