the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
