New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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